State Of Confusion.

Enrolment was a joy/bad day for me today. Joy? well because many made fellowship of mine was promoted that's why it was a joyful day and the company promoted a new sergeant who he is Calvin Teh, Congrats on my highest applause. I'm still who I'm nothing changed except i'm more pessimistic rather than happy. Why? It's my last year and I didn't live to my expectations for the next rank. It's sad to be in the same rank for another 1 year. Before enrolment I told Calvin if I don't get my promotion tomorrow I'll quit but until now words are still in my head. Sunday morning after the last NCO meeting for the 2007/2008 board one of my officer came to me and said something about the company needs you maybe he hinted that I'm on the verge of throwing my chevron away. I knew the double stripes won't come to me today but I still had my hopes high hopefully I'm given a chance again. I don't feel the familyness in BB as I used to be, maybe because I've changed or I've distanced myself from everybody. I feel pointless there, like what's the point of going anymore since everybody I know there isn't close to me anymore. I can't take losing as it's part of my man-ego, I join this uniform body and knowing that 3 stripes is the highest rank, I'm sure every boy wants that 3 stripes chevron and obviously I'm one of them but during this enrolment that 3 stripes belongs to a very close friend of mine so I think I lost. I think I'm being Dionnish Lol!!, I just have to think harder i guess.